[00:00:00] Music
[00:00:19] Welcome back to Growing Older Together, season One, Echoes of the Past, Visions of Tomorrow. I'm Lourdes. Have you ever felt stuck with certain feelings you cannot shake off? Today's episode, Unresolved Emotions, is about those feelings we push down,. ignore, or just do not want to deal with when they come up.
[00:00:45] As we get older, some of us find it harder to keep everything under control. Life becomes less about what is happening on the outside and more about what is happening on the inside. [00:01:00] It's during this time that unresolved emotions can resurface. They come knocking, getting in front of our faces. The impact of carrying these unresolved emotions into our later years can significantly impact our behavior and daily life.
[00:01:19] I want to share a personal story. When I was 17. I experienced what I now know was a panic attack. I was waiting for a bus when suddenly I was overwhelmed with fear. I fell to the ground. And I couldn't breathe. At the time. I had no idea what was happening to me. But it was terrifying. That moment was a wake up call about the unresolved emotions I had. , especially regarding my relationship with my father.
[00:01:53] His behavior was unpredictable, influenced by his mood and whether he had been [00:02:00] drinking. As I grew older, I sought control over every aspect of my life. A way to cope with the feelings of never being good enough and the constant fear of failure. I strived for perfection, procrastinated out of fear of making mistakes, and longed for my father's acknowledgement and love. It took years, but I've begun to let go of those unresolved emotions, learning to value myself and recognizing that my worth isn't tied to my past.
[00:02:34] Addressing these behaviors often requires recognizing and confronting the underlying unresolved emotions, through self-reflection, therapy, or other forms of emotional support.
[00:02:50] Imagine building walls around a beautiful garden to protect it. Similarly, unresolved emotions build walls [00:03:00] around your heart, keeping out both the bad and the good. So what can we do about it? First, it's about acknowledging these emotions. Recognize that it's okay to feel this way. It's a part of being human.
[00:03:20] Second. Seek understanding. Why do you feel this need for control? What are you afraid of? For me, the need to be in control stemmed from growing up in an unpredictable environment. I never knew what version of my father I would get. The happy drinking one or the angry, sober one. This unpredictability made me crave stability and control in all other areas of my life.
[00:03:52] What I was really afraid of was the chaos and the feeling of helplessness that came with my father's [00:04:00] moods. I wanted to prevent myself from ever feeling that vulnerable again. And third it's about healing. This could mean therapy, journaling, meditation, or simply talking about it with friends or loved ones.
[00:04:20] Healing is not about erasing the past but about understanding it, accepting it, and moving forward with compassion for ourselves. It's about building trust, not just in others, but in ourselves. It's about learning to let go. Forgiving ourselves for what we think are flaws, and loving ourselves just as we are, imperfections and all.
[00:04:54] As we grow older, let's remember that it's never too late to address [00:05:00] unresolved emotions, and it's never too late to seek peace within ourselves. Our later years can be very fulfilling and peaceful if we work on understanding and healing our inner feelings.
[00:05:18] I would love to hear how you have dealt with tough emotions. Share your story and let's learn from each other. Together, we can support and inspire one another through this journey. In next week's episode. The Art of Apology, I'll talk about how admitting our mistakes and making things right can change us and help us heal. To close. Here's a quote by
[00:05:49] Gabor Mate.
[00:05:50] "Whether we realize it or not, it is our woundedness, or how we cope with it, that dictates [00:06:00] much of our behavior, shapes our social habits, and informs our ways of thinking about the world." Think of unresolved emotions like splinters. They're small, but they affect everything we do. By facing and healing these emotional splinters,
[00:06:19] we can move more freely, build better relationships, and see the world more clearly.
[00:06:27] Okay, that's it for today. Until next week, let's grow older and wiser together.
