Lourdes (00:18)
Welcome back, and thank you for joining me. I'm glad you're here. I'm Lourdes, and today's episode, When Life Feels Like a Horror Story, is about those moments when life takes a frightening turn and we are left trying to figure out how to keep going.
Lourdes (00:39)
In almost every horror movie, there comes a moment when the main character realizes, "This cannot be happening."
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Sometimes life brings us to that same moment. It may not be a haunted house or a monster in the basement. It might be a phone call, a diagnosis, a betrayal, a financial hit, or feeling worn down and not knowing why you wake up one morning and realize,
Lourdes (01:13)
"This feels like a freaking horror story I cannot get out of."
Lourdes (01:18)
Today, I want to talk about what happens when life turns a hard turn. The times that feel too big, too heavy, too much. This is not about horror movies. It is about you and me and how we can keep going when life starts to feel like a horror story.
Lourdes (01:42)
Horror stories tend to have a few familiar pieces. There is the jump scare. The thing that hits out of nowhere.
Lourdes (01:50)
There is the slow creep. The problem that builds so quietly you barely notice it happening. There is the not being believed when you know something is wrong, but no one believes you. And then there is the survivor, the one who has to figure out how to live with what happened. Let's start with the jump scare.
Lourdes (02:15)
For many of us, it is a phone call or a piece of news that divides life into before and after. It happens in an ordinary moment. You are going about your day. The phone rings, the doctor calls back, the test results are in, or someone in the family says, "We need to talk." And sometimes your body reacts before your mind has even caught up.
Lourdes (02:45)
Your chest tightens, your heart starts beating faster, your thoughts race ahead. You may feel shaky, numb, or unable to concentrate on the next sentence. Fear can do that.
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The body can go on alert while the mind is still trying to understand what just happened.
Lourdes (03:08)
And then comes the shock, the anger, the numbness, or sometimes a strange calm takes over, and you simply begin handling whatever has to be handled. You make the appointment, you write down the information, you call the family, you find the paperwork, you do the next thing because at that moment that is all you know how to do.
Lourdes (03:38)
Part of what makes that experience so frightening is knowing there may be more ahead. The decisions, the difficult conversations, the uncertainty. Experience can work both ways. It can help because we know that the first wave of panic usually settles. We know how to ask questions and get through a difficult day.
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But experience also means knowing how quickly a diagnosis, a death, or a family crisis can change a life.
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Sometimes the most useful thing we can say in that moment is simply the truth. "This scares me. I do not know what this means yet." Putting fear into words does not solve the problem, but it can stop us from pretending we are fine when we are not.
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Then there's the slow creep. This kind of trouble does not announce itself.
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You are a little more tired than usual. You agree to one more responsibility. You start helping a partner, a family member, or a friend. Then one day you look up and realize your calendar is full of everyone else's needs. Your body is asking for rest.
Lourdes (05:06)
You cannot remember the last thing you did simply because you enjoyed it. And even the idea of stopping for a day feels impossible.
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That is a different kind of horror. It is not the monster that jumps out. It is the house that gets darker so gradually you barely notice it. Until one day you realize you have been walking around in a life
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that no longer feels like your own. Many of us become the person other people depend on. The one who handles things. The one who gets the phone call when something goes wrong. But being the person everyone depends on can come at a cost.
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You may need rest. You may need help. You may need to say no to one more responsibility because your time, energy, health, or circumstances have changed. Sometimes the first step is simply admitting the way I am doing this is no longer working. That may mean saying no to one extra responsibility.
Lourdes (06:25)
Asking someone else to take a turn. Letting something be good enough instead of perfect. One small change may not fix everything, but it can give part of the day back to you. Another part of the horror story is not being believed. You say, "Something does not feel right." "I have too much to deal with." "I feel different."
Lourdes (06:54)
"I am not myself." And someone says, "That's normal at your age." "You'll be fine." "Try not to worry so much." Or they do not respond at all. Being dismissed can make you question yourself. Sometimes age becomes part of the dismissal.
Lourdes (07:17)
A 2025 study by researchers at Davidson College and Rice University looked at adults aged 65 and older during health-related interactions. The researchers found that even subtle age discrimination, something as simple as avoiding eye contact,
Lourdes (07:37)
reduced trust and made people more likely to want to avoid future interactions. Sometimes it does not take an obvious comment to make someone feel dismissed. A look, a tone, or the feeling that someone is not really paying attention can be enough to make us wonder whether it was worth speaking up again. And that
Lourdes (08:03)
matters because when you are worried about your health or trying to explain what you are experiencing, you need to feel that somebody is actually listening.
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If someone makes you feel rushed, invisible, or unimportant, it can affect how willing you are to ask another question or come back for help. No one else gets to decide whether your concern deserves to be taken seriously.
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If something feels wrong, keep asking. If you are overwhelmed, say it. If you are sad, angry, exhausted, or frightened, call it what it is. Once you say what is happening, you can begin deciding what you need next. You may need support or rest, a boundary, a second opinion, or you may realize that something has to change.
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You do not have to solve everything today. You only have to decide what deserves your attention first.
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And finally there's a survivor, the person still standing when the credits roll, changed by what happened, but still moving.
Lourdes (09:19)
I know what it is like to think. I do not know if I can get through this. There was a time when my only son stopped talking to me. He did not want anything to do with me, and I was devastated.
Lourdes (09:33)
During the day I kept myself busy so I would not think about him, but at night there was nowhere to hide from it. I could not sleep. Sometimes I dreamed we were talking again. Other times I had nightmares that I was looking for him and I couldn't find him. I began reading about family estrangement.
Lourdes (09:54)
I read articles and blogs and listened to podcasts from people who had lived through it. Slowly I began to cope differently. Instead of focusing every day on the fact that my son was not in my life, I prayed that he was doing well, that he was healing, and that he was finding whatever he needed during that time. The pain did not disappear overnight, but it became easier to carry.
Lourdes (10:24)
And when he reached out to me a few years later, I was in a better place emotionally.
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That experience taught me something I did not know at the beginning. Sometimes surviving is not about fixing what happened. Sometimes it is learning how to keep living while something remains unresolved. We carry a lot of history with us, and not all of it is good. There are people we used to be, places we no longer go, people we still miss, mistakes we would not make again.
Lourdes (11:00)
And problems we once thought would finish us. Some experiences taught us something. Some took something from us that we will never get back.
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We do not have to turn every painful experience into a lesson or pretend we are grateful it happened. But we also do not have to keep living inside it. We can acknowledge what happened, carry what matters, and keep moving.
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Surviving does not mean the story did not change, it means the story continued. So, if some part of your life right now feels like a horror show, the jump scare, the slow creep, the feeling of not being believed, or all of it at once, I want to leave you with two questions. What am I dealing with right now? And,
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what is one small thing I can do that is within my control? Maybe you cannot change the diagnosis today. Maybe you cannot repair the relationship today. Maybe you cannot fix the financial problem, the grief, the family situation, or feeling worn down today. But perhaps you can make one phone call.
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Ask one question. Cancel one obligation. Tell somebody you need help. Make one appointment. Take one hour for yourself. Resilience is often built that way. Not by solving the entire problem at once,
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but by recognizing what is happening, focusing on what is within our control, and taking the next possible step.
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And sometimes that is enough for today. Next time in episode 16, when no one is listening, we'll talk about how to hold on to your own voice when you feel unheard. Thank you for spending time with me today. Remember, while facing your fears may not change your situation right away, it can help you see yourself with new strength and understanding.
Lourdes (13:25)
Let's continue to grow older and wiser together.
